Class 5B
Our Lady of The River
Primary School
GORDY MANNERING PHILLIP HORTON MANDY SEEBLE ERICA JONES
JIMMY DEEKS AMBER THOMPSON MATHIAS JAGGERT AMY FRENCH
PINTO SARCOSI SARAH BUTTLE TOMMY JAMESON LISA DRUMMOND
SIMON DUFFY LAWRENCE PARKS JANE SWEDHAM KATHY EGGLETON
MRS HOPGOOD
My name is Tommy Jameson and this is my class at Our lady Of the River Primary School, class 5B.
In the back row, there’s Gordy Mannering whose mum and dad own a fruit farm but something happened to it and they had to move into town.
Gordy doesn’t like living in town and he doesn’t like the boy who sits next to him in class, Phillip Horton, because Phillip Horton is a fat cheat and always tries to look at everyone’s work when we have tests.
He always cheats because he’s too lazy to be good at anything, except cheating.
Mandy Seeble sits next to Phillip and likes Mathias Jaggert because he has orange hair and she’d never seen orange hair on a boy before she started school so she thinks Mathias is fantastic.
Mathias Jaggert doesn’t like Mandy Seeble or any girls because they are terrible at playing marbles and they only want to play girly things like shops and teachers and nurses and boring stuff like that.
Erica Jones sits next to Mandy and she and Amy French are friends but she doesn’t like Sarah Buttlle who is one of Amy’s best friends so she pretends to like Sarah for Amy’s sake.
Amy French sits in front of Erica Jones and she is sweet on Gordy Mannering who acts like he didn’t like girls but secretly does.
He told me as a secret on pain of death, that one day in the tuckshop line he’d turned around and saw Mandy Seeble standing behind him counting out her money.
He said it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and suddenly he felt breathless and happy and frightened and confused and he had an urgent need to go to the toilet.
I started to laugh when he said that and he punched me on the shoulder.
Sitting next to Amy French is Mathias Jaggert who wants to be an astronaut when he grows up and knows all about the moon and the solar system and stuff like that.
Sometimes at night I look up at the moon and think if it’s really made of cheese like Amber Thompson says, it must be pretty smelly by now and I wonder why we can’t smell it here on Earth or even see all the mice running about all over it because there must be heaps living there by now.
Amber Thompson sits next to Mathias Jaggert and she wants to be a nurse like her mum who was a nurse during the war and got a medal from the queen for helping all the wounded soldiers.
Amber said she can’t wait for another war so she can help wounded soldiers like her mum.
Jimmy Deeks sits next to Amber Thompson and once when we were walking home from school, he told me he didn’t like boys except maybe me because I always said hello to him.
He said boys were dirty, rough, smelly and totally gross and he secretly wished he wasn’t one which was why he preferred playing with the girls who at first were a bit unsure as to whether they should let a boy into their girly world but when they realised that Jimmy knew all about girly things and had the best collection of Barbies dolls, he became an honourary boy member of the Pink Hearts Club.
In front of Jimmy is Pinto Sarcosi who comes from Italy and he reckons his great, great, grandad was actually the famous Zorro who we love to watch his adventures when we get to go to the movies on Saturday afternoons.
Everyone wanted his autograph when he told us that but I can’t figure out how the camera was able to chase Zorro all the time without him noticing and film him and why the camera didn’t warn Zorro when the bad guys set a trap for him but he always managed to escape anyway so maybe the camera helped him escape.
Next to Pinto is Sarah Buttle who thinks she’s better than everyone else because her mum and dad are rich and they drive her to school every morning. She always has new pencils and rulers and rubbers her mum and dad buy her whenever she wants.
She thinks everyone likes her as much as she likes herself but we don’t except maybe for maybe Amy French but that’s because they live next door to each other and so they have to be friends.
She has the best birthday parties though and we all try and become her best friend when it’s nearly time for her birthday.
Next to Sarah Buttle is me Tommy Jameson and I want to be a rock musician when I grow up like the ones my big brother listens to all the time, The Rolling Stoneds, The Beeteles, The Whose and Head Zepperlin, bands like that.
My teacher Mrs Hopgood thinks it’s a bad idea because she says rock musicians are rug abooozers or something and they have no moraliteas.
I don’t really know what she means but I just like the music and how it makes me feel and I think they look really cool.
Next to me is Lisa Drummond who is really shy and she hardly ever says nothing, except when we have to work on a project together and she comes up with some great ideas and we always get good marks. My mum says she is pretty, I suppose she is but I don’t think about things like that much, I think frogs and toads are pretty and beetllles.
In front of Lisa is Kathy Eggleton who always has a runny nose and messy hair. Her parents are really poor and because they are so poor Kathy is allowed to come to school without her parents having to pay any money or nothing,
Next to Kathy is Janey Swedham who says her dad is a hero because he saved their dog from drowning in the bath when they were giving it a wash.
They have two dogs called shnitzerls or something and they are so expensive to feed they have to keep taking them to dog shows and win money to keep feeding them.
Next to Janey is Lawrence Parks who is a braniac and none of the other boys like him because he wont never do their homework for them no matter what he gets offered. Gordy Mannering even offered his triple curl smoky peanut, the rarest, most beautiful looking marble in the whole world and he didn’t take it but he did take Simon Duffy’s offer to punch him until he turned blue if he didn’t do Simon’s homework.
Simon Duffy who sits next to Lawrence is the biggest kid in the class and he lets everyone know it.
Everyone is scared of him because he is such a bully and no one really wants to play with him because he always beats them up but they are too scared to not be a part of his gang so they pretend, except for Jimmy Deeks of course, who was a constant target for Simon Duffy’s bullying, that was until Jimmy became an honourary member of the Pink Hearts Club.
After the Pink Hearts Club had a meeting with Simon Duffy behind the toilet block one day after school, he never picked on Jimmy again. Never went near him, never talked to him, never even looked at him, it was almost like he was scared of Jimmy.
None of the other boys knew what the girls had said to Simon Duffy that afternoon and it was the most top secret secret in the whole school, even more secret than the combination to Mrs. Hopgood’s desk drawer where she keeps all the confiscated toys and marbles and stuff.
No one likes Mrs. Hopgood because she always gives us heaps of homework and she always makes sure someone in the class gets detention. She never smiles and she wears these black glasses with horn things on the ends and it makes her look like a devil or a witch or something.
Mrs. Hopgood likes Amy French best out of all the girls in the class and Lawrence Parks out of all the boys because they always have the neatest schoolwork.
Mrs Hopgood hasn’t got a husband and rides to school on a motor scooter and has three cats called John, Samuel and Vernon.
I think they are stupid names for cats and I like dogs better and I think adults are pretty stupid too, except for my mum and dad.
I’ll never understand the way they think all worrying about things that don’t make sense or understanding.
I think my class will all grow up to be good people except for Phillip Horton who will probably get in jail for cheating or something like that.
THE END