Captain Jack had a memory like the morning.
Sometimes it would be clear and other times it would be covered in fog.
He was over eighty now and his bones creaked like the masts on a ship that had been too long out at sea.
He didn’t look much different from any other old age pensioner.
He had the white hair receeding from his forehead, the cardigan, the spectacles, liver spots, the false teeth, drifting off in the middle of a sentence, the lack of understanding as to where the world went wrong and the memories.
The memories of youth and a clearer world, where an understanding was an understanding and there was no miss to the mark.
A comfortable place where all the emotions of a lifetime existed in a land of light and dark spaces, filled with dreams of a future and pictures from the past that yawned back into birth and beyond.
It is to these memories that Captain Jack escapes, sitting in his armchair with a warm mug of coffee by his hand and as a perfumed breeze wafts through the open window by his head, he would begin to dream zzzzzzzz.
Captain Jack was a sailor and a pirate, a wandering gypsy or the first man to ever invent lubricants for aching joints.
On really bad days he would be a mad man, a goblin, a grumpy, obstinant clerk or an accountant with bad breath but mostly he loved adventure.
Up through the Himilaya’s on the back of an elephant or travelling along the silk road to China or just wandering amongst the streets of Sydney where he had lost something, perhaps it was his mind, he didn’t know, he couldn’t remember.
Even when he wasn’t dreaming, he would still love to follow the adventurous lives of insects as they wandered through the insane labyrinth of the back yard lawn.
Ah, the thrill of smashing through the grass jungles and missing out on his afternoon nap because he couldn't be found, as he hid behind the deep trunk of the old camphor laurel tree down the back of the garden wall, at the Hospital of Gods Children.
He knew the clouds wouldn’t tell on him and the flying insects of the golden afternoon would do their best to distract the search party, which would inevitably be sent out.
Nothing mattered more than to watch those clouds dancing up there in the deep blue sky, singing with joy to the song of life and of course Captain Jack knew how to sing along.
He knew every tune there was to be sung to the hoedown of existence, the clouds and insects had taught him well.
It was usually at night, when the door to his room had been locked to prevent him from escaping and being a nuisance to the midnight vegetation, that Captain Jack would cry.
Before the dreams of old age took him nearer to the end of eternity, he would lay upon the bed and wait until the chatter of his mind finished going through the checklist of bedtime preparations.
When it understood that it had forgotten to remember what it had forgotten, it admitted defeat and snuggled up into the sheets of unconsciousness.
When this ritual was completed and silence hung in the air like the warm glow of his spirit, Captain Jack lowered the gates of his will and tears streamed from the inside of his soul.
He had learnt how to scream silently a long time ago, when he discovered that the people of the world felt even less than he wanted to know.
It usually prolonged the agony, as the pressure ripped his mind to pieces and the silent screams stretched his vocal chords to breaking point but better that than disturb the nurses on night shift, who loved force feeding him medication that made him forget who he was.
When the first wave had finished, he would blow from his nose the mucus of his body’s reaction, scrape the tear stains from his eyes and wait patiently for the next wave.
At times his breathing would disappear all together and his tired body would feel as though it were paper thin.
A great hole that stretched from the middle of his chest to the centre of the earth kept on collapsing in on itself, suffocating him until all that could be seen was his fear and as it started to tremble, the next wave began.
Of course after a time, exhaustion would at last overtake him and it was then that Captain Jack felt it was worthwhile being somewhere over the rainbow.
When he was a younger man it would go on all night and then the next and if he were eating right, the one after that.
Thankfully though the cycles only happened twice a year.
Three months to recover, three months to enjoy and a lifetime to pay, wasn’t that how it went?
Captain Jack didn’t know, he couldn’t remember.
Captain Jack usually woke when he heard the birds singing while trying to keep their balance on trees that waved with delight to the glory of the sunrise.
After such a night, he would normally drift upon the pillow and wonder if today would be the day when his mind would get its come upance and leave his body alone for good.
But usually after breakfast, the clouds singing outside of his window would be too much for him to resist and he would lose interest in looking for his final moments, choosing instead to go out and play with the adventure of the day.
As Captain Jack slithered around the bottom of the garden wall, like he heard the worms do beneath the earth, there was always an ugly black shoe that got in the way.
It belonged to Bad Abraham.
He was a bad angel who had forgotten how to fly, his heart had withered and his voice was like the rasping desert wind.
When Captain Jack smiled back at the lovely man in the black shoes reflection, the shoe would bite him in the ribs.
Not too hard because it knew old men’s bones would break with too much force but it was all right, Captain Jack knew this shoe was experienced.
After a time, the shoe would always go away and Captain Jack would wave back to the lovely man in its reflection.
He would then ignore the pain in his sore ribs and start listening to the worms again as they rustled beneath the earth.
Lunchtime would usually come with a bottle of medicine, they said it would help all his lunch to stay down in the tummy tum tums.
What was the matter with just closing your stomach when it was full and let it all ferment into a potent brew of energy?
Captain Jack could never remember being given a bottle of medicine when he was born, instead he was given a teddy bear and Teddy was smart enough to teach him how to close his stomach.
Although when Teddy got old, Captain Jack wasn’t there to remind it of those things you forget when the sunrise yawns loudest and your stomach falls out.
When lunch was finished, Captain Jack would go behind the deep trunk of the Camphor Laurel tree.
From his pocket he pulled out some bread and once he had broken it into pieces, he dipped them into his lunchtime medicine.
Around him the birds would happily hop as he fed them the crumb pieces, they seemed to like the taste of medicine.
Although some got so excited they seemed to forget how to fly, they just stood there and stared at Captain Jack with one eye and then occasionally with the other.
Captain Jack would always see a lovely person smiling back at him from those watching eyes.
Eyes were really wonderful, much better than shoes.
Captain Jack never wore shoes, his feet would never forgive him.
Imagine what it would be like to have the feel of the earth suddenly taken away from you, it’s enough to make your toes curl.
Captain Jack was busy admiring life as it pumped through the vein of a leaf and didn't hear the bell for his afternoon nap.
The lunchtime birds had all flown away and the afternoon insects had begun to play, they were all so very different.
Did you know that they actually clean the air?
They are like millions of tiny window washers with vacuum cleaners stuck all over them and when they get turned on, they spin around absorbing all the old, disused vibrations that millions of people have unknowingly forgotten to dispose of thoughtfully.
Before they go, these little vacuum cleaners return the unwanted waste back to the source of all vibrations and then they get crucified on the grill of a car.
The black shoe returned with some its friends.
They stood there screaming like rotting winds, getting louder and louder.
They moved about lots as though they were arguing with each other.
Captain Jack waited for them to finish their awful song and then saw the beautiful person in those dark, black shoes, looking out at him.
He wasn’t smiling at Captain Jack and as Captain Jack began to wave, he became frightened and the shoes began to bite.
The angry, black shoes seemed to forget how hard they were meant to bite, instead they cracked Captain Jack’s old bones into pieces.
He never forgot that to cry is human but to smile is divine.
Captain Jack got tired of looking for the beautiful person in those angry black shoes, he could no longer see him.
The black shoes had become torn and covered in blood, until finally they all disintegrated into the dreams of Captain Jack.
Captain Jack left us then.
He didn’t tell me where he was going.
He just smiled and wished me many sweet dreams.
Because of Captain Jack, I learnt how to listen to and appreciate the song of Life.
He taught me how to foxtrot to the breath of eternity and waltz with fear of death.
If you see Captain Jack, will you tell him that I love him.........
THE END